oatmeal...today's hottest fashion accessory

I see women carrying around their children while wearing the latest fashions and high-heels, and I just don't understand it. How do they do it?? I get dressed in the morning and not even ten minutes later the neckline of my shirt is stretched down to my bellybutton and I'm wearing a lovely concoction of drool, oatmeal, and peanut butter. I only wish that I were exaggerating!

I really should take more pride in my stretched out clothing with random stains. They show me off to the world as a mom...one that is down on the floor playing and getting dirty right along with my son. I love being able to take Xavier to the park and not worry about getting down in the grass or going down the slide with him. Being a mom just wouldn't be as much fun if I were wearing heels or trying to keep an expensive wardrobe clean.

While there are certainly days that I would like to be able to leave the house wearing a fashion accessory other than oatmeal, I will probably never be a very stylish mom...and that's okay with me. I like to think that when I look back on these times, I will smile, laugh, and miss the oatmeal stains and what they represent.

His method of eating oatmeal by the handfuls

may have something to do with why I end up wearing it most days.

preparing for the shamu & you family walk...looking back...looking forward

This will be my second year participating in the Shamu and You Family Walk to benefit Rady Children's Hospital.  Last year, I had the privilege of joining a team led by a dear family that we met while Xavier was in the NICU. They were the first family that we got to know that also had a child with congenital heart defects. I felt immediately bonded with them as we leaned on each other for support during that time spent in the NICU.  Unfortunately, this family lost their precious daughter to the battle with CHD.  I shed many tears when I learned their daughter had passed...I cried for many reasons.  I cried out of heartbreak for the family, as no parent should ever have to experience the loss of their child.  I cried out of fear that I could someday experience that same loss.  I cried out of guilt that my child was alive and their's was not.  I cried out of joy that Xavier was asleep on my lap and that I could lean down and kiss his soft cheek and hold him in my arms.

When this family asked me to join their team for the Shamu and You Family Walk in memory of their daughter, I didn't hesitate for a moment.  It was a wonderful and moving experiece!  With every step I  was able to show my support of this dear family and also the hospital that allowed me to experience life with my son. 

This year, I am honored to lead a new team...Team Heart Hero. Named so because my son is my hero.  He has gone through so much during the first year of life, more than I will ever personally experience, yet you would never know anything was wrong by looking at him. He is my inspiration for this team.  I owe every moment I spend with Xavier to Rady Children's Hospital.  Although I will never be able to give back everything Rady Children's has provided my family, I can certainly try. 

Looking forward, I hope that I can keep this team going year after year.  Not only do I see this as an opportunity to give back to Rady Children's Hospital, but also as a way to bring more awareness to congential heart defects by sharing Xavier's story.

Please join me in giving back to Rady Children's Hospital.
http://shamuandyouwalk.kintera.org/xaviermyhearthero

In the waiting room

I'm sitting here in the waiting room at Rady Children's Hospital...trying to pass the time. I've been here since 5:30 this morning because Xavier is having a MRI. Thankfully, the first two hours went fairly quickly. I was busy getting Xavier checked-in, having his vitals taken, and trying to keep him entertained (and distracted from the fact that he hadn't had anything to eat or drink since 10:30 last night). Now that he has been taken back, the time is dragging. I have been left in a waiting room in the MRI center in the basement of the hospital. Usually I spend my time people-watching, but I'm the only person here. Well, there is a receptionist sitting behind a window, but I think it might make her nervous if I spend the next two hours staring at her.

I always get so anxious when they take him back for procedures. Even though I know the MRI is so minor compared to his surgeries, he still has to be intubated and there are always risks associated with anesthesia. I refuse to say "good-bye" though when they take him, it just seems too final. I only kiss his cheek and tell him that I'll see him in a little bit. I know I'll see him again soon.

But for now, I wait.